Parenting In a World of Technology
This post was written with assistance from Allison Weston, an undergraduate student at Brigham Young University.
As media use becomes increasingly prevalent, many parents are concerned about their children’s media use. Media is often portrayed as harmful, conjuring images of children whose days are consumed by a screen. However, when used in healthy ways, media can have many positive effects. Parents can have a strong influence on the way their children use media, but how to teach these skills might not be what you think.
Problematic media use
Understanding what healthy and unhealthy media use looks like is essential in teaching children healthy media habits. Although problematic media use is not necessarily about how much time a person spends on media, children who spend long amounts of time (over four or five hours) using media are likely to use media in unhealthy ways. Media becomes problematic when it interferes with a child's behavior, social life, family, school work, or psychological functioning. This could look like spending long periods of time online, loss of interest in other activities, poor academic performance, withdrawing from others, attention problems, deception surrounding media, or poor sleep quality.
Healthy media use
Some may see these negative effects and think that media should be avoided at all costs. However, with guidance and structure from parents, children can learn to use media in healthy ways. Healthy media habits can help children learn self-control and self-efficacy, provide learning opportunities, and develop critical thinking skills.
Restrictive mediation
One parenting strategy in managing children’s media use and teaching healthy media habits is called restrictive mediation, which consists of setting rules and boundaries around children’s media use. This strategy is especially helpful when children are young and lack self-control. As children get older, restrictive mediation may be used differently.
Using restrictive mediation can be utilized differently depending on the child, their age, and what kind of media they use. For a young child, this may consist of setting time limits or allowing media only at certain times of day. If an adolescent spends most of their time online using social media, you may set a rule that they should not use the explore page. In my family, my siblings turn in their phones to our parents at night. As you set rules and guidelines for your child, think about what is developmentally appropriate and what you want to teach your children through your regulation of media use.
Active mediation
Another helpful parenting style is called active mediation. This is when parents discuss, comment on, and help children to evaluate the media they consume. This helps children to develop critical viewing skills, learn appropriate media use, and use media in constructive ways (i.e., avoiding those problematic behaviors we talked about earlier). Active mediation also helps children to avoid online risks and know how to handle them when they do occur. For example, these children are unlikely to meet up with a stranger they met online, and if they encounter pornography online, they are more likely to talk to their parents about it.
Active mediation is something that parents can do regularly and casually with their children. It can be as easy as talking to your child about the show they are watching or playing a game together online. It is helpful to have a solid understanding of safe internet usage yourself, so that you are able to teach your children these skills. Active mediation opens up a channel of communication between the parent and child that helps the child know how to safely use media, and involves the parent.
Best Practices
It is important not to rely too heavily on either strategy. If restrictive mediation is overused, children often try to get around the restrictions that have been placed, and end up with even more screen time. Relying too heavily on active mediation can cause children to struggle with a lack of regulations, especially young children who have not developed self-control. By using both active and restrictive mediation, children are able to have the structure that they need, and understand the “why” behind these rules. As children get older, they will have set healthy media habits which give them the benefits of media in their lives, while preventing many of the problems. Using both active and restrictive mediation is also helpful for parents. It is a well-rounded approach that helps build trust in the parent-child relationship and will give you a break from constantly monitoring your child’s media use.
Takeaway
Parents who want to teach their children healthy media habits can effectively teach their children through active and restrictive mediation. Restricting time and content online, as well as opening up discussion and teaching moments regarding media helps children use media safely, and not overly focus on screens. This builds the parent-child relationship and takes stress off of parents, a benefit for everyone.
